I'll share But you gotta share too! LOL
OK I've had strange requests and situations in my short life: From guys wanting to be pegged and humiliated, cheated on with a SPECIFIC type of guy, threesome offers, girls asking if I would, people kidnapping my underwear, trying to lick my nose?? (wtf) wear xyz, a particular color, cuffs or whips , lots of perfume, no perfume, heels to bed, bend this or that way, call me from work, step on me etc etc etc so not much fazes me then again I'm a garden variety voyeur/exhibitionist, big submissive, I Like weird body parts (like I'm ear obsessed, and I like asses in men a Little too much) so I'm not one to look down upon things:
That said, I've had 2 sex encounters and 2 near sex ones that rank a top of the WORST THINGS IN LIFE! The two near misses were a Frenchman who was a terrible kisser (Like epic disgustingly BAD and had a small microdick.. I can't work with both things and No he didn't even have to get naked for this to be determined), A white guy that had a mixed race daughter (he was older but good looking) he kept asking very disturbing questions and bringing his teenage daughter way way often,I pumped the breaks and told him to mind his psychological help if he was this horny around his child
A) The Beef Brocoli story: (don't read while eating) This is why I don't do certain items of the Chinese Menu, shit this made me really put the last nail on the red meat coffin... So me and my Ex husband had just started dating and I was Very young but I've always been pretty perverse even then probably like the 3rd guy I've ever slept with, I want things by the fistful so I tell him on our way to dinner: "I want to Swallow tonight for the first time!" ... yeah just like that I decide that I want to and *poof Make it happen!*
He wants to turn around the car and go home, I say No no Let's make it a slow burn, after dinner, no rush! (This came back to haunt me) so I order the usual fried rice, some chicken, whatever, He gets Beef Broccoli... Fast forward to 2- 3 hours later we are getting it on and all the good stuff and then BAM! he comes I want to put in practice all my research (true fact Most of what I now know about sex I've known in rich gory detailed theory since I was in my mid teens, my parents didn't censor our reading and my mom is a Medical doctor.. Journals Galore) ....He Comes.... and THAT SHIT TASTED LIKE SALTIER BEEF AND BROCCOLI!!!! YUCK after reading up on this I fucking find out that since it's protein based it'll get saltier and worse tasting the more red meat you eat, in fact is infused with whatever you eat so I have also found out both in theory and practice that Vegetarians taste Much much better, milder, cause let's face it, semen is an acquired taste. Take this as advice dudes, if you have a shot in hell of making your girl embrace it and like it Fruit juices (particularly Pineapple) and more veggies to your diet is the only way to go, cut the red meat intake a bit before hand! shit, help your own cause! (FYI ladies no matter how much it seems it's at most 2 tablespoons full, read up on it!)
Needless to say I Never have that combo ever!
B) The Sniffer: Now I've had some nutjobs grace me with their presence before but this one didn't even give me a hint as to how bad it'd get: cause for some reason I equated "Mild mannered, older" with safe and boring Boy was I wrong.. I think that it was just one of my weirdest times, no I didn't get up and put my clothes on and left BUT in spite of the good eating skills, nice size and overall skill set I Never called him back and trust me, he tried for a.longgg. ass.time. It was just too effing weird!
But picture this someone is having nice normal foreplay with you.. then from giving head moves on to eating ass... nice... then... wants to smell you, I mean smell your actual butthole, smell and lick between your toes but mostly smell ( huh? ) I assure you is unsettling as hell! then Trust me that I asked what was his deal he said that he just "liked my scent" and to just relax.. more foreplay goes on nicely he is making his way up and what not and: Damn It if this fool didn't park himself to smell and Lick my fucking armpit??!??!?!?
WTF
so yeah those are two of mine, give me yours LOL
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Horror Sex Stories: Go on let loose!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Revising My Threesome stance: My first time
Hopefully not the last, a few or the lady readers know about this since Is copied from my personal shenanigans but here goes to othing my rare story time share-out
So I went and hung out with this guy I had been messing with for a while, which was stunning to look at if a bit toolish and clingy over on thanksgiving break, a Friday , for a little bit, none too invasive, but to meet the cousin, assess the situation, went out for a little bit, came back home, you see he had suggested a couple times that since I was so Into the idea but only wanted MFM (Yep That's all for me! Thannnkkkssss), that was a body we could use for the deed
And the cousin was cute and super shy and laid back and he was gushing something awful about "her accent" and "she is so cute and sexy" like "she" wasn't there... Lol then he was asking if I knew Spanish
Duh! Of course mijo, are you crazy??! would I pull that stunt with my crazy Family?!? We just laughed it up for a while and talked about his crazy cousin ... he was too shy for me, but I thought then that he'd be good for this particular set of needs, you know, not pushy and all , then #1 walked me to my car, at that point I told him: If this happens: Condoms, no DP, and he DEFINITELY was not to get the ass without proper preparation! (homeboy is , um, HUGE), he giggled and kissed my neck!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Saturday afternoon he stated calling me and asking what was I up to and such, and I said nothing but sleeping, he asked me if I wanted to come by and have me some fun with him, since I figure the cousin was too chicken to go thru, (I mean SUCH A SWEET NATURED BOY)with it and we just chilled the previous afternoon I thought nothing of it, he said to go ahead and eat since I'd need my energy but he makes all sorts of idle and crazy threats and shit, so anyways , I put on some cute shit, cause it's kind of warm again.
I got there and the door was opened again, #1 was watching tv and right behind comes cousin, this time he hugs me hello, well, next thing you know I'm sitting on his lap and he is being all molesty right in front of his cousin, and doing some lethal neck kissing and such, at which point we took it to his bedroom, cause AGAIN his cousin his just looking shiny eyed and shit but keeping his distance (no I was NOT wearing undies so the cousin is getting full view)
SO yeah Me and him, going at it all sorts of crazy, some face sitting and yummy shit pops off and then after my nth orgasm (cause I stay on that multiple orgasm after a few minutes of face time) he just asks me if I'm down for it, since his cousin was asking all sorts of mess previously...... I told him: It's now or never!!!
WHOOMP WHOOMP!!!
He picked my butt up and promptly took me to his cousin's bedroom across the hall, where some kissing and such ensued (he mumbled something about us having clearly a good time, he was watching a pretty decent movie and such) as we were making out I said that his shyness was remarkably melting away... but he still was not all hard enough to my tastes, I told him to relax and instead help ME continue getting my sexy self off, which he promptly did... very well I might add
My host for the evening came back I don't know how many minutes claiming jealousy, and such it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good ya'll I cannot even possibly even explain it to you, there was a lot of shit talking back and forth from me both of us while cousin contented himself with making sexy noises, and saying "Oh Shit oh Shit you are so sexy" repeatedly, boys did not come in any kind of close contact and because he was still all sorts of discombobulated he kept stepping out of the room and rubbing me all sorts of the right ways while my main aggressor did his thing... It was really hot ... fuck
The whole time I was yelling inside my head WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOO GO QQ Yay YOU! This is Bad Ass and so not the rotisserie chicken of love you thought it could be... let me tell you! when I got tired and I told em to take it easy, easy became total full on body worship, boobs and necks, arms restrained while I got some more face time down below, and because I'm some kind of crazy jackass I happily said the word BITE ME... UGh! I'm too much for myself! Bite they did, Not so much my back, but my inner thighs.... lets just say leggings and hosiery and pants were De rigueur that week
Such a damned sensory smorgasbord!, I don't know how many condoms did we all go through, nor how much kissing,licking, biting and sucking ensued.... this was only THE most highly deliciously inappropriate fun I've ever had the pleasure of partaking in .... Let me tell you... every girl should be worshiped so completely this way at least once in her damned life, Too damned freaking good!, my legs, my back, my ass, my ears..everything got something done to it..... *swoon*
Eventually I whispered to #1 to take me back to his bedroom when his cousin got tired, and he did I also told him that his cousin had the better bed but he definitely had the better set of skills, he just giggled and told me that we won't tell him that, to which OF COURSE I agreed! he came again, he went to take a shower, then I went for shower time both of them opened the curtain to check up on me *gigglefest* after which my host and I laid in bed hugging up and playing, I said I was going home but I'd go say bye to his cousin... Only when I went there that boy Trampled me again!, so good.....
Hilarity! I don't think all my clothes even came off LOL, I walked him to the shower, came out the bathroom, then wee made out some more in the kitchen and tried to start some mess, but basically I told him that we were not unless I was to give last rites to my twat.. .Real Talk, I could be quiet for the rest of my life (PPSHHH I'm ridiculous , I say that Now but we KNOW I don't mean that shit AT ALL and that in another week I'll be craving more more more!)
IF I don't ever see those boys again as far as I'm concerned they fulfilled their purpose in life ....I'm so serious when I tell you I had much more fun any woman should, and that I literally had my baby toes and everywhere else in between properly tended to.... yuuuuuummmmmmm... I think I also lost the rights to complain of any man famine I might go through in the future and that I also have a default fall back masturbatory fantasy to go into henceforth
eventually our thing went sour when he went extra clingy, needy and crazy with the calls CONSTANTLY BUT he did something great in life, not to mention on some other occasion necked me within an inch of my life, during lunch, in my car with the windows ope... then gave me head and other molestations...it was a shame he had such a crappy maturity level/attachment B.S!
Hence i think if it's all safe, talked about or with people who get your vibe, possibly one more laid back, one aggressive party and is CASUAL (god forbid you get a real relationship into This conundrum, unless you are happy open polys who alo wing for shits ad giggles) then it should be super fun for everyone, a fullfilling, spicy awesome experience for all involved
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Purity Quiz!
Are you a sexual prude or a full-blown hedonist? Or somewhere in between? You can quickly find out by taking the Purity Test. The lower your score, between 1 and 99, the less pure you are. What's more, you'll be able to share your score with friends, plus coax them to take the test, so you can discover who the true crazy of the group is.
Check all for which your answer is "yes" add up your score, reply in the comments (and again as always if something you read tickles your fancy or merits discussion or is not in the side search,bring that up and I'll work around it!)
"MOS" refers to "Member of the Opposite Sex"
1)French kissed (tongued)? (Y)
2)Been on a blind date? (Y)
3)had or given a hickey? (Y)
4)engaged in foreplay? (Y)
5)read a pornographic book or magazine? (Y)
6)masturbated to a picture? (Y)
7)sucked an MOS's breasts or had your breasts sucked?(Y)
8)seen a pornographic movie? (Y)
9)gone coed skinny-dipping? (Y)
10)committed an act of exhibitionism (moon, streak, flash)? (Y)
11)masturbated? (Y)
12)purchased contraceptives?(Y)
13)engaged in foreplay for more than two hours consecutively? (Y)
14)been shopping inside a porn shop?(Y)
15)showered or bathed with an MOS? (Y)
16)shaved your pubic hair? (Y)
17)committed an act of voyeurism?(Y)
18)had sex with a virgin?
19)had sex in a car?(Y)
20)had sex outdoors?(Y)
21)experienced a lap dance?
22)gone to a strip club or porn house? (Y)
23)performed a strip tease for an MOS? (Y)
24)met with someone for sex only? (Y)
25)had sex non-stop for an hour? (Y)
26)interrupted a couple having sex?
27)jerked off or fingered by an MOS? (Y)
28)jerked off or fingered an MOS? (Y)
29)photographed a MOS naked? (Y)
30)been naked in photos taken by a MOS? (Y)
31)given oral sex to a MOS? (Y)
32)done 69? (Y)
33)had sex in three or more positions? (Y)
34)experimented sexually before puberty?
35)been caught masturbating? (Y)
36)masturbated with another person in the room? (Y)
37)watched another person masturbate? (Y)
38)watched another party have sex? (Y)
39)had sex in a public place? (Y)
40)had sex during menstruation? (Y)
41)gotten a woman pregnant, been pregnant?
42)(arranged, had) an abortion?
43)have a child or children?
44)had a V.D. test? (Y)
45)had a V.D.?
46)orgasmed three or more times in one night? (Y)
47)traveled over 100 miles just to get laid? (Y)
48)cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
49)picked up a stranger for sex? (Y)
50)had sex with person with a disability
51)had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 10 years or more? (Y)
52)had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 20 years or more? (Y)
53)put an inanimate object up your vagina or anus?( Y)
54)had anal sex? (Y)
55)had sex in front of a third party? (Y)
56)had an alcoholic drink? (Y)
57)been drunk? (Y)
58)used alcohol to lower an MOS's resistance? (Y)
59)had an alcoholic blackout?
60)smoked tobacco?
61)smoked pot or hashish?
62)used LSD, PCP, heroin, or Mushrooms?
63)used cocaine?
64)used three or more recreational drugs in one night?
65)been arrested?
66)been convicted of a crime?
67)accepted money to remove any clothing?
68)gotten laid on the first date? (Y)
69)had a threesome? (Y)
70)had a foursome?
71)attends frequent Swingers/Fetish parties/orgies
72)rimmed a partner? (Y)
73)Sought out a hooker?
74)engaged with a hooker or gigolo?
75)Have gotten rimmed by a MOS (Y)
76)had sex with two different people separately in a 24 hr period? (Y)
77)videotaped yourself having sex? (Y)
78)accepted money to perform a sexual act?
79)gave or received sex with a strap-on? (Y)
80)slept with a married MOS?
81)been engaged? (Y)
82)been married? (Y)
83)had sex with a friend of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
84)had sex with a relative of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse?
85)had sex with more than 10 different people in your life? (I Don't share numbers info with anyone, nor do I think is relevant or a crime to have any sort of number for guys or girls, unless you do it for sports and after plotting as opposed to it just happening)
86)had sex with more than 30 different people in your life? (Ditto nor those this matter But for Quiz's sake save it in your head)
87)had sex with more than 50 different people in your life? (see above)
88)had sex with an unconscious person?
89)been propositioned by a homosexual? (Y)
90)accepted?
91)kissed a member of the SAME sex? (Y...yuck)
92)been masturbated by a member of the SAME sex?
93)been orally stimulated by a member of the SAME sex?
94)had sex with a member of the SAME sex?
95)lived in a threesome (sex with 2 others) for a month or more?
96)been involved in an orgy or swingers party?
97)engaged in bondage? (Y)
98)engaged in sadomasochism for sexual enjoyment? (Y)
99)engaged in group (5 or more people) sex?
HUMMMM Not pure at all yet not horrible just how I like it.... all without really having to play with chicks!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Assplay II
This is a bit more detailed than the last time I touched upon this subject
A small word of warning ... before you start poking around their backside, make sure that your partner is ok with it: But Eh! that would be common sense talking, instead make sure you got great communication, finesse and a down for whatever sex partner
Some people are not, and won’t react gently when they feel an "intruder”". Some men will be uncomfortable with the idea initially(ummm Unless you don't ask or make a big superproduction and Do It!), because of taboos of supposed "gay" behavior.
Let me put your mind at rest; anal play is thoroughly enjoyed by heterosexuals as well., Yeah ask guys i mess with , is sneak ass play whilst mid-head and everyone is happy, best time to intro this to a guy so that he doesn't feel you're calling shit into question: and seriously peeps stop flipping The Prostate IS a sex organ and IT DOES happen to have access through THAT particular pathway
If you want to try analingus (correct terminology!), but your partner doesn’t, don’t try to force them! You have a much better chance that they will try it if you have their cooperation, rather than arguing with you (hello! back to my Vanilla/Kink sex exchange and rules of engagement!) Bring the topic up gently on occasion, and help them open up to this experience by getting them comfortable in the area and with the idea.
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. Before engaging in Analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different than licking any other, and can be very stimulating for both you and your partner.
******************Also I won't tire of telling you : This is NOT a Storage Area, this is simply a transient area for waste so again AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN Poop is not just there about to come, BUT ALSO DUDES, because of the delicate Ph of a Vagina AND because you are NOT some Gauche moron, condoms or dicks that go in the Ass DO NOT get to come back to the Vagina unless thoroughly wiped/ or condom is changed, Vagina to Ass Yes, Ass to Vagina NO, you are personally going to get my unrelenting unmitigated hate if you get a girl that's trying to give you a kick ass experience, a yeast infection.... but I digress*************
Without going too close to their anus, explore their inner thighs and bottom with your hands and mouth I think a sensual massage would be great for this, I've gotten them and given them and it is Amazing when you are all relaxed and then you start getting fingers kneading deeper and deeper into your thighs deeper inside and higher and going into places no one touches and then they go into something else but come back to your butt, massaging it and then go down deeper into the crevice and shit...mmmmmmmmmmm I Need some badly, forgive my detour
but yeah for Some people (especially women) have had bad experiences with anal play in their history, mostly because their partner moved much faster, or less gently, than they should have. If this is true in your case, getting them to talk about the topic is a great way to start.
By learning where they went wrong, you can prevent that experience from happening again. This is why you don't try some shit with literal assholes that are not well versed on either subtlety or patience, this is NOT some quickie fast bang adventure This is Assplay and if you want to ensure that You'd get it again You BETTER conduct yourself like a GENTLEMAN! Go Big AND S-L-O-W or Go the fuck home children!
A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it after the giver does some fellatio/cunnilingus is only a short way there!!! The area is really sensitive, so run the tongue around in circular motions, use the tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate.
Access to the anus is a little tougher than to a vagina, but there are several positions that are ideal: laying the receiver on their back with a large pillow to arch their bottom up
Like so
the receiver sitting on the giver's face;
the receiver bent over with legs spread; or similar to this
Ahh this brings memories of sweet sweet office sex
the receiver laying on their back pulling their legs back, and the receiver upside down with their legs spread.
.
This one is what I'd use for the Guy/bj thing but you don't even need all the legs up, is just reflexively They WILL come up
Once any part of the giver has been inside the receiver's anus, it should not be put in anywhere else until cleansed. I already warned you about that so don't play stupid
There are many nerve-endings around the anus that can make this form of sex-play an absolute blast for both men and women... turn-off the taboos and get totally turned-on!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Size Matters: Boys and girls. listen up
This is the Only slack I cut men cause is whatever you come with (No, bad hygiene, shitty attitudes, Jerk moves, douchebaggery, gold teeth, horrid skills baggage THOSE are not slacks I cut nor is it cute to be a certain age and ascribe to certain level of bullshit), I mean Your size is Your size
So, dudes: It is perfectly normal to feel some nervousness or uncertainty when you first become intimate with someone. Poor body image, weak self-confidence or sexual inexperience can all contribute to this negative effect. Penis size, or a lack thereof, can create so much confusion and insecurity, even to the point of obsessiveness. It is useful to have SOME size, but more than a few inches doesn't make the difference between a good lover, or bad. In any case, you don't have to let it weaken your performance; you can pleasure the heck out of someone regardless of size.
We’re no longer living in the proverbial caveman days where a big penis dictates a man's virility, sexuality and masculinity; if it's connected to a vulgar, inexperienced moron with no skills, no class, no finesse or knowledge of the body then he doesn't stand a chance Although a big package might make your life a little easier, you won’t have much of a grace period if you have inexcusable sexual habits. Being a master in the bedroom is not just about deep penetration. It's about having confidence, openness and impressive bedroom skills - with emphasis on skills...
Some women truly don't even like a big penis: I am one of them and I've spoken to many a hot, cute girls who DO NOT want a Monster cock, the size of it all comes crashing down under jerky attitudes, shitty techniques and general laziness that seems to plague a lot of those guys, sloppiness is not good in the bedroom and truly it can be uncomfortable or downright painful!
Also, of much more importance to a woman is penis girth (measurement around the penis) rather than length; the nerve-endings within a woman's vagina end within a couple of inches, so the sensation of 'feeling full' is generally more about the width than anything else
Work on your skills and up-sell them! Your penis won't be as big as one of her dildos, so don't bother competing! Why not become the master of oral ? the world will thank you for that with open legs!
Or how about turning into a walking sex encyclopedia? You'll impress her with your knowledge and dazzle her with your talent.
Maybe consider a massage course; it can make your partner feel so aroused and will help you appreciate the importance of touch and sensuality.
Feel confident about yourself – if she doesn't think that you're comfortable with your penis, she definitely won't be. The way that you feel about yourself is very apparent to women because they always want to read between the lines. Don't direct so much apprehension to places you're uncomfortable with; a man with a very obvious complex is a big turnoff. She might not have even noticed had you not obsessed about it.
Respect your sexual partner, whether they’re long term or not. This will translate to her feeling more comfortable and more receptive: because REALLY why wouldn't we fucking rag on you if on top of being on the smaller side you' be a douchebag too???
The openness that she feels will actually improve her sexual experience with you (score for you) but she’ll be much more interested in reciprocating the same respect with inexhaustible invigorated effort. Score for you again. Also be a good host, offer drinks, a little backscratch I mean it should be common sense but there are truly guys out there wondering why they are having less than spectacular sex
Utilizing certain positions can make your penis seem much bigger (trust me on this, my best dudes have NOT been the big ubermonsters no, in fact the stuff of legend and history have been smaller dudes, they kissed and licked and bit everything just right!. Try integrating sexual positions that focus on G-spot stimulation But Please don't do this aggressively, our tender (probably blood engorged, sore) sweet tasty vaginas are connected to the rest of our bodies, NO ROUGH FINGERING I CANNOT SAY THIS enough!!.... Use the right angles and shallower penetration. Avoid the showy poses that even the most endowed fellow couldn’t handle.
Also consider seeking out specialty condoms that are tailor-made for a smaller penis – when you need to call upon them in your time of need, you won’t be worrying about how they fit. And really let me let you in on a secret Girls CACKLE at you when your average sized self pulls out Magnums XLs knowing good and well you don't fit them, plus is unsafe THEY will come off! in fact one of the guys i was sad to see go off my team won me over right before insertion after the LONGEST foreplay known to mankind (Kissing and his specialty, eating Pussy) by saying:
"Oh girl Bring out the regulars I am NOT a Magnum Guy, but you'll be pleased as long as you'll have me!"
In other words A sense of humor and reality won't kill you!
Tighten up some other areas of concern in your life so that you have fewer things to worry about, let alone what other people might think of your penis. Even just the action of self-improvement will change your self-perception: this is true i don't want to hear another overweight, pigsty having dude with 3 roommates talking about bad sex... how the fuck are we supposed to be drawn in????
There are things you could do to procure bedroom approval: exercising to improve body image; having better grooming techniques like trimming or shaving your pubic area; good hygiene (smelling good & having fresh breath); and, preparing your sex space for maximum impact (even if that is only just tidying it up).
No matter what size you are (unless you happened to be saddled with a moronic size Queen, in which case dump her! please! and tell her why, she would want to self assess if she lets go of a marvelous, funny guy that is eating pussy, wining and dining her, having great convo and that gives foot and back rubs, over size) The biggest thing that your partner will notice is how much you respect and satisfy them in bed... and truly you can be an unforgettable partner with good skills and contrary to some dudes' ass backward mentalities you CAN be mindful or respectful of chicks whose brains you're Banging!
Positionwise: Its about employing simple tweaks and tricks. If your guy is on the smaller side of things, for example knowing that no matter what position you choose the closer together your legs are, the tighter the friction, also your arousable tissue is contained within the first 3 inches of your vagina so that's what we need to aim for
Also during missionary a pillow under you would be a great addition to tilt your pelvis upwards or use the previously discussed Deck Chair position in lieu of that, Spoon style sex position are also good fits
A word to you chippies!: as per Dr Harry Fisch M.D professor of clinical urology at Columbia university New York Presbiterian Hospital and co-author of "Size Matters" The truth is, most penises are little longer than 5 inches when erect, if you are Not sure what that looks like? Take a dollar bill : girls THAT is 6 inches in length and that or around that IS the majority, In Fact only 15% of men are longer than 7 inches and just 3% surpass 8 inches... so THAT my public service announcement and a Very Important Reality check for you Size Queens!
Eh! I've always been a "skills/kissing/touching/high kinks level/dominance" type of chick so I don't know, personally if you're hard and will spend time "Fine Dinning on Ms.Kitty" (oh Manita thanks for this eternally!), don't hate on a bit of assplay and can give or take a bit and a hair pull then I might be set for life in the bedroom
Why is it so damned important anyways? Well they too have a distorted view of what a penis should be think of it as girls wanting to be skinnier when they look in the mirror, and also the watch a lot of porn more than us, so just like some women think they can't satisfy a man if they are not anorexic blond with huge fake cans or an abnormally huge ass, they think we couldn't possibly be good with their size, and lasty... they are competitive jerks Heh!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Book Recommendations: His and hers
Today A Double Whammy : a His and Hers!!
For the Fellas:
She Comes First: a Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasure a WomanGet it!
Overview: As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do " Ironically, the answer has always been right there on the tip of his tongue. Welcome to the world of She Comes First, where the mystery of female satisfaction is solved and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. According to Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and evangelist of the female orgasm, oral sex has long been deemed an optional aspect of foreplay, but, in fact, it's coreplay -- simply the best way for leading a woman through the entire process of sexual response. Fun, informative, and easy to read, She Comes First is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for consistently satisfying a woman and illustrated step-by-step instructions to ensure success.
Bonus points: Something sexy for your coffee table
Artsy but not TOO artsy, nudes, chicks Not sex I know how you can't have other penises in your midst and shit *side eye*
For the Ladies
Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man
Why: Um... You read up on sex tips, you like a happy home, you want good sex not just to receive, but to give good orgasms, but that's a synergy! , a skills check... whatever it is : get it!
Overview:
Transform Yourself from "Passion Victim" to Passionista!
In the smash hit She Comes First, Ian Kerner singlehandedly waged battle against male sexual "ill-cliteracy," and women everywhere benefited from his "viva la vulva" philosophy of female pleasure. Now, in Passionista, it's time to learn all about what turns men on—and makes them stay on. In this point-by-point, "blow-by-blow" guide, Kerner makes giving as much fun as receiving as he covers every angle of male sexuality, unlocks the secrets of satisfaction, and offers knowledgeable answers to the questions every woman wonders about. His advice is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick.
Written in the same witty, insightful, and utterly readable voice that has made She Comes First and Be Honest—You're Not That Into Him Either so popular, Passionista is the empowered woman's guide to enjoying sex to the fullest—and ensuring that he does the same.
Bonus: a Wealth of Quickie Short stories
Yum!BTW these are Guidelines you can buy for yourself or Significant other or your arsenal! who ccares
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Chicks and gents: do we have a problem???
Real talk this is going to be a bit ranty but wtf is going on with us people of color? minorities even??!?! (yes i'm calling us out by and large!)
I'm talking about this: I know as a whole we have some REAL fucked up sex standards and Not much is changing although thankfully enough! (cause um now we're not resorting to NOT orally satisfying each other??! Praise be!)
Why are adult men that are sexually active and WANT women to be sexually active with them still holding on to bullshit terms like "freak" and "ho"... do you NOT want sex? do you not enjoy it?? would you rather she not, that she sucked ass in bed (figuratively NOT literally!)
Why do we still gotta push for condom usage?? do you NOT care about your health, is the MINIMAL so called difference worth it??
Chicks; what happened to minding your sexual health?
And having a say so on how, when, if you get fucked??
what happened to making it fun in bed, learning to truly please, yourselves and others?? Knowing your body?? masturbating enough that you know exactly what curls your toes??
What happened to giving head Folks?!??! THAT SHIT Is NOT OPTIONAL!
Men : Unless you got a child bride from the boonies with a sexually repressive history THAT is not going to fly
Women: Get over your fucking selves, if you won't do it someone else will! and it'll become an issue
MEN: Pussy Patting and Aggressive fingering is stuff they do in porn cause "it looks good" women there are seriously faking in and NOT enjoying it... so STOP that mess!
But all in all beloved: I Need to belabor this point: we need to communicate and be open and wild about this shit, our sex lives shouldn't be dictated by sad antiquated notions that our parents had because in their days for the most part sex was for one thing and one thing alone: make babies
And while is great those of you that want kiddos go for it, we know is also about intimacy, fun, enjoyment, fulfillment, stress relief, release
So communicate with one another, let go of preconceived notions, sex is not "bad" it doesn't make you BAD it doesn't make the person you are fucking or making love to BAD , enjoying ex and orgasms and masturbating is NOT sinful so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! bask on the glow of your abilities, your body and an open mind
and also don't worry i finished a few posts already, and they should be fun
remember audience participation is always welcomed!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Pile Driver, Scissors, Deck Chair
Ugh I KNOW I stay busy and talking shit and whatever, let's make it instructive But don't complain I STAY begging all of you to hit me up in the comments if you have questions or whatever, shit! go at it anonymously!
so I decided I'm just going to shoot out the mouth with a couple posts while i'm sitting here, particularly about my favorite things
hence i bring thee: The Pile Driver
I think this is Not something I "request" per se but when it happens I get MIGHTY happyfied! ( i also think that's why a certain character stays coming back into my life)
And real talk from the logistics of it, it Is and looks complicated BUT I promise you , if the guy is not facing you is even better AND you get to ass lap (no seriously ladies, start smacking some butt whether you're coming, or going, or just chilling in there, you'll get your moneys' worth with dividends!)
I usually have ended up this way as a segue to 69 and probably 69 where I let the guy go on top for the aforementioned
This position has the receiver (and I say receiver cause, Um... gayboys could do this too!) lay on their back with their lower back and legs raised all the way up so that their ankles are either side of (and beyond) their own head. The exact end position will depend on the flexibility of the receiver
I Have been told several times I'm freakishly stretchy and bendy
******at this juncture i will IMPLORE you all again to take up the gym yoga, biking WHATEVER makes you feel good, tightens your situation, and gets your blood flow moving, your face flushed and your shit Happy About YOU!, for your own sake***
This position totally exposes the groin area to the giving partner who stands astride the receiver's groin to perform. The giver moves up and down on the receiver to create friction. The giver is also able to use their hands to caress and explore their partner's lower body (bwahahahah yes, yes.he.does, This is a good time to test out how open either partner is to assplay!)
This position requires considerable flexibility on the part of the receiver and it cannot be (fully) achieved by most, and yet I think this is a good homework to aim for... not with the zeal of going to the Olympics, more like FUN!, but it is wonderfully "naughty" due to the feeling of being totally exposed and 'giving it all'. Those less flexible might try getting into the position, but stop at the point where the position starts to become uncomfortable. The giver can also help those less flexible by using their hands to support the receiver's thighs at mid-point. The giver should be careful not to over-extend the penis beyond what is comfortable at this unusual angle (penis pointing downwards) Unless you like Bruised Out of commission Cockage!
Another Personal delight of mine would be The Scissor, which this way
Is a straight take on the lesbian position that gives name to one of my favorite bands (Scissor Sisters) This usually comes about from exhausting oneself after a few hours of messing about, but it also works well for Morning sex(when NO One feels like moving or getting on top and morning breath is ripe) and for the less well endowed dudes!
This allows for a unique angle for penetration, but it comes at the partial expense of intimacy, as opposed to comfort, to be honest when you are exhausted from Giving 'er Who cares??. ...Many people don't like this position because they find it awkward to position their legs without causing one of the partner's legs irritation or pain, but it does have a solid following amongst those who can find the sweet spot (Me!)
Lastly for today
The Deck Chair: which is a position I usually get flipped after guys figure out I'm one of those fools that orgasms A lot, and hard, and accompanied with bucking, clenching etc.... this minimizes that trend but facilitates a good visual for me, as well as my self masturbatory pursuits
....and Guys....seriously
if a girl is having you on top and she wants to masturbate DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TAKE HER HAND AWAY CAUSE YOU'RE AN INSECURE SHITBAG!... women come different than men, from different stimuli, while for you Penetrative sex MIGHT feel like a supernova and the end all be all, it is NOT the cause for most women (not me, I actually do love vaginal sex, but I KNOW I'm not the Vast majority) so let her reach her peak whatever way she needs to cause THAT is the measure of a Good Lover!
Tell me about your faves?? Pros? cons?? sell me on them!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Shy Girl Tips
I Know I keep saying I'll do better but is hard to try and keep up with life and a blog and a sex blog that you were supposed to get help with (UGH!) anywhoosie I dear little reader requested (actually two or more have personally emailed me) some tips for not so forward ladies so this one goes to her... and I should try and be a bit more dilligent in my salaciousness
Also feel free in the comment section to request what you want to see or read about and well as to offer your own tips, boys, I'm alo hoping for your input regarding this topic cause at heart shy girls need encouragement, so, if they hear/know/get told they are doing something right, they will want to keep at it!
First of all, I am a firm believer that you don't have to carry on and about like a hoodrat all loud crass and obnoxious or advertising to guys what you will and won't do, in fact let other things speak for you But I also fully believe ladies gotta own themselves and their bodies and their orgasms in and out of the bedroom, so to me shyness is relative i'm all for being introspective, or keep to yourself but I also want women to go as far and as hard and as hot and sexy as is possible with themselves as far as sex goes, cause happy women is what's UP!
Now then, I think that initially with more introverted ladies the thing you want to do is have an honest sit down with yourself about risk assesment cause it'll be easy for someone to just take advantage and you also don't want to fall prey to some sorry bullshit so you can go some ways about this;
The "I want to trust this one with my body and own this ", or the
"I'm going to go against type rock this shit out, enjoy myself one way or the other and damned the rest!"
"Slow tease" approach (and God Bless you if you have the fortitude, I can only do frottage a date or two fuck that!), or
Obviously Nixed (cause he is a dick, cause he wants to hit and leave you be without a good orgasm or foreplay, cause he doesn't inspire lust or trust, so fuck him)
And on that topic you can only answer yourself regards your intentions or the intentions of the dickk carrier, however if you decided to proceed then Balls to the Wall, do what you gonna do and I recommend a little bit of wine while you're at it JUST A LITTLE BIT for some extra liquid courage
So you're going for it there are few things I'm going to start recommending:
Start walking around naked: if you got kids or something get a lock on your door and close the blinds, the point here is YOU need to be comfortable with YOU aware of your body and how it moves and how it feels and how to make it look it's best, extra points if you move on to nothing but heels and if you start taking pics of yourself with cute little things on and such then go for it, (DON'T SEND THEM TO ANYONE) causethis is NOT about self loathing or whatever, is about self assessment and self actualization and all that good shit
Masturbate: I've said this before but it bears repeating... why would you expect someone to make you happy if you can't make you happy??Learn what you like, girlfriend!? Porn, hands, toys whatever you want, I'd start with my hand, move on to a vibe cause I'm not a dildo chick and NEVER EVER EVER underestimate the power of a hot bath or the showerhead going to all the right tasty places. also the more you stimulate yourself, the more you'd want some
Read you some helpful material: Erotica really is a girls's best friend, not that bullshit where Fabio is on the cover or Zane shit, no I mean Real Erotica
Also Know this: DUH! He WANTS YOU hussy?!!??!? in some way form or capacity, be empowered by this and keep your head about you, his is important knowledge and power which you shouldn't cede in exchange for cock
Speak Up: Not in a bedroom setting but it'd be nice to speak on what you'd like a fantasy you would like to make happen in a regular setting and sort of let that hang in there for a minute, don't do it just to titillate but be real on what you want cause I've noticed some dudes get dickish if you play the stupid game of "acting" like you're a certain way to reel them in and then you are completely different, be it freakier and more wild or completely the opposite and extra tame, so I don't advise that you go above and beyond who YOU are but if you are goingto do it, do it big or go home!. So over drinks, or a nice dinner or a little risque movie such as Lust, Caution (new fave) or Secretary (old Fave) you might want to say Hmm I'd like something like that to happen to me, purr it up ladies!
During foreplay/sex, compliments PLEASE: This is good if you are trying to get together regarding sexual styles and also to guide them cause men are nothing if not utterly..um.... stupid?? when it cmes to reading minds?? also remember that for us vaginal sex is NOT paramount nor what would make most women blast off, but for them the feeling of entering us is so off the charts that they couldn't possibly believe that we are not as utterly melting in the sea of being utterly turned on
Activity tips: You can pick and choose depending on your comfort level but I would really encourage you to try any or all of them because is what would make your experience unforgettable and freeing!
RELAX It's just sex not rocket science!, People that don't want to give sex it's due levity and it's place as a pressure reliever, and a FUN thing kill me, play some music, maybe the wine comes in at this point? ( I have a Notorious sex playlist!, long, slong, sexy, Spanish music, Sade, flamenco, jazz, french music...the works)
Leave the lights on: Why not! you got comfy with your bod for a reason, No?? also how would you showcase pretty undies? if the light is too harsh maybe use some scarves??? I personally like my room kin of on the dark side, like dark wood, big cushy comforter and such, smelling nice but the llight always has to be soft and on, this one hot Turkish dude not only ate my ass after giving me head forever but when I was going to make the lights off move he said: NO leave them on This has to be enjoyed with all the senses!... Yes Honey, God Bless you
During the BJ, or while riding up top Lock eyes: Doesn't have to be long or doing anything too cheesy other than producing a satisfied smirk, but a little eye contact shows "I'm not afraid of this and I'll TOTALLY enjoy myself!" and guys always tell me watching me watching them do the damned thing only revs them up more.. .this goes a bit into the "fake it til you make it" thing, if you don't act the part thoroughly you won't be comfortable in it, is kind of like in a shitty day I wear makeup, a matching underwear set, hot heels and I say: I'm going to be fabulous today! like a mantra, then everyone tells you how fab you look and Tah dah! it's done!
You see how much I cuss?? Time to dirty talk!: Work yourself for it and I promise you It can be a good release!! Look: a "fuck me" can go a long way... an easier way would be descriptive sex talk: "I like how your _____ (use the best term for you, I'm a cock, chick) feels in my pussy", you catch my drift!...
but listen, real talk: In lieu of that I'll take much sooner you not TALKING THE TALKING but SHOWING HIM what's it going to be!
Get to it! The homework is to take care of you first, parade around a little nude and then try the rest as it comes
Monday, February 16, 2009
Mutual Masturbation
I Think this could CERTAINLY be a BIGGGGGG fun inducer and also a delicious thing to do for intimate contact when you are not all necessarily in the mood or can't (Hear me up Ladies, when indisposed I will CATEGORICALLY not avoid contact: I will Make out, I will fellate til the cows come home, I will pull out the oils and get on my naked sensual massage tip but basically I Don't like saying no)
And DUH!! is a GREAT a idea for those folks that need to loosen up or LEARN that makes their partners tick
So your Guide goes as follows:
Know yourself: this is not even so much for the boys as it is for the girls; It's 2009 you SHOULD know your body ABUNDANTLY Well. Besides, a good before-bed Orgasm WILL make you sleep so much better; and sorry to digress but I have this thing where I Firmly believe girls should be allowed to explore themselves and their bodies from a young age... it sure kept me from going at it too young (lost it a few months before my 21 bday BY CHOICE) cause there was NOTHING a boy could do to please me that I couldn't do on my own!.
I've maintained for a very long time that should I procreate and have girls They WILL get their own vibe to sate and satisfy all their curiosity from ME the person that loves them the most, I will explain all the facts I will give them their little privacy why? cause we DO as adults (and I've seen it in my own family) turn the motherfucking blind eye when boys start masturbating every single second they get... so why shouldn't girls get the same leeway to please and know themselves? cause they don't have body parts that stick out?? Miss me with that shit! Maybe if we encourage young women to know themselves we would miss out on many a teenage pregnancy or these lame ass "rainbow parties" (Ugh That shit is utterly despicable) , and a lot less repressed chicks
Don't make it private: Yeah usually masturbating is an "alone" activity, start venturing on masturbating in front of your partner, for a few first times maybe don't quickly proceed to touch each other but see how your partner pleasures Him/herself, take it in, enjoy the view, look him her in the eye and if you're so.very.damned shy then maybe pull out the blindfold and go to town!
Now Try him/her: This is where the fun begins! once you've seen what they like and enjoy the best way to start things up for guys, I'd say during sex, as an extra aid to penetration! That would be soooo sexy and delicious and it'd get her body more attuned and receptive to vaginal penetration (and during anal sex!?!? WHooo lawd!! *fans Self the worst way*) anywhoo Girls, I'd say get him on the shower, while getting dressed, while waiting in line! who cares I'm a NOTORIOUS package rubber and grabber I don't know is a bad habit i nurse and cherish! LOL I'm going to be a dinner and starts rubbing the leg and move up, and if we're seating across from each other... well God Made Toes for That!!!!
Trick it out, Incorporate Toys: Perfect for when you want to experiment and before sex proper!, I mean you are touching each other massaging each other and I think is great to end an intimate massage (the kind that makes your fingers travel a little bit into crevices it shouldn't go into during a normal massage) is to be all oiled up, relaxed, and you start working your partner legs, breast/chest stomach and traveling down below and a little vibe or bullet while masturbating them, before moving on to the big platters (oral/ penetration)
LOVES IT!!
Now get to work cause I'm currently horny!
